Money problems can cause fights and increase tension in a relationship. That is the finding of a survey by Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS) of people who came to the organization for debt or budget counseling.
According to the survey, sixty percent of married respondents report fighting about money with their spouse. In addition, nineteen percent said that financial problems negatively affected their relationships with their parents; while thirteen percent said the same was true for their friends. More than ninety-three percent report that financial problems increased the amount of stress in their lives.
CCCS reports, however, that you can prevent financial issues from ruining your marriage or other personal relationships. "It starts with setting aside the time to talk about money," says Suzanne Boas, president of CCCS. "Discussing the issues calmly can prevent the situation from overheating."
CCCS recommends holding your money discussion in a quiet, neutral place. Decide in advance on ground rules such as staying calm, refraining from character attacks, and putting the issue aside if tempers get heated. If you find you are unable to discuss money calmly, consider consulting a professional financial planner or therapist. Here is a list of potential topics to address in your discussion. The list is geared toward couples, but can apply to any relationship in which money is an issue.
Lay your cards on the table. Honesty and trust are the hallmarks of a strong relationship. Too many people, however, keep financial secrets from their partners. Instead, commit to discussing your financial positions openly. Disclose how much is owed on credit cards, other outstanding liabilities, and your joint and separate assets.
Compare money experiences. Share your values and attitudes about money. Tell how money was handled in each of your households growing up and how you view money today as a result. Realize that families have different approaches to finances; try to remain nonjudgmental about your partner's experiences.
Set joint financial priorities. Separately, each person should write down his or her short and long term goals. Then use these plans and wishes as a starting point for deciding on mutual goals. Priorities may include building up an emergency savings fund, getting out of debt, planning for a new home, starting a family, making major purchases, saving for retirement, or going on vacation. Next, develop a budget to help you meet these goals.
Be realistic about your family's expenses. As you develop your budget, understand that emergencies and unexpected expenses will come up, often at the worst possible time. Be diligent about making regular deposits in your savings account for these unexpected expenses. A dented fender is bad enough without having to fuss over money for the repairs.
Determine which accounting approach is best for your family: joint or separate checking accounts and joint or separate savings accounts. Most couples find it easier to have one checking account for paying bills. But, if you do have separate checking accounts, decide who is responsible for paying which bills. Remember, nothing is set in stone; if one way does not work, try another.
Agree on what you are going to teach your children about finances. Allowances can be a dicey subject for parents. Does one parent think the kids should get paid for doing chores and the other think chores are just part of being a family? Have a united front when it comes to presenting financial issues to your children.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Money and Marriage: Don't Let Money Problems Ruin Your Relationship
Baby budget: Financial Planning Is Key When Having A Baby
So I hear you're having a baby.
If you've recently discovered that you're expecting an addition to the family, get used to hearing that from all your family and friends. They'll call to congratulate you. They'll call to offer their support. They'll call to ask how you're feeling.
But most of all, they'll call to tell you how much your life is about to change. Keep in mind, however, that having a baby is like any other major change in that planning ahead makes the transition a lot easier.
In planning your personal finances for the baby's arrival, there are several issues you need to consider. It's time to get out a pen and paper and work out a budget that you can use once you've brought the baby home. Remember, these figures are in addition to your regular weekly and monthly bills.
First of all, a new baby means an extra mouth to feed, as well as diapers and baby clothes. Also, you'll find that miscellaneous expenses, including paper towels, tissue, and detergent, will all increase. Even your utility bills will go up because you're home more often. You're probably safe if you figure a minimum of an extra $200 a month, although you may have to make some adjustments in either direction as time goes on.Additionally, there are some one-time purchases you might want to consider, including a crib, car seat, monitor, and baby swing. Of course, many expectant mothers receive these as gifts at a baby shower.
If both parents plan to work after the baby is born, start calling daycare centers as early as possible, just in case you have to get on a waiting list. Daycare costs can range from $40 a week for a program in someone's home, to $125 a week or more for an established center. Ask friends who have children to recommend a good center, and call the state agency that regulates daycare centers to get their rating. Just don't delay. It's important that you plan for this new weekly cost in your budget.
Another important area for your post-birth budgeting is health care. How much will your health insurance premium increase by adding the baby? Make sure you discuss this with your employer to find out what the family rate is, and specifically, how much more will be taken from your paycheck every week.
Once the baby is born, you can plan on an occasional visit to the pediatrician, both for regular check-ups and minor illnesses. Some parents get very lucky and experience very few health problems with their newborn, beyond the minor colds and infections all babies get. Other infants need more attention from their pediatrician. So, it's really very difficult to carve that number into stone. However, depending on your deductible or copayment, you may need to budget an additional $200 to $300 a month just for the baby's medical care, at least for the first few months.
Now for the good news.
Almost every expectant parent, especially those expecting their first child, worries about money. Most discover after the baby is born, though, that it isn't as hard as they thought.
Having a baby forces certain changes onto the parents, typically resulting in a less expensive lifestyle. You don't go out as often for dinner or to a movie. If you think about it, people who don't have children waste a lot of money filling time and avoiding boredom. Rest assured: you'll have no problem finding something to do once the baby arrives.
